It’s 2:34am and it’s finally October😁 I’ve just woken up as I went to bed really early, The sky is black and I can hear foxes outside and an echoing owl. I’m feeling down, upset and broken I thought life was getting better but I guess I’m back to the start,I have many spots and I feel like shit!! I am really determined to lose weight and dye my hair blond, I’ve just bought hair bleach 40% vol to start putting some blonde in and I’ve also bought a new superdry hoodie and a pair of black Vans and I want to get a Levi’s white logo t shirt. I can’t remember eating yesterday and j didn’t take my tablet so I guess I’m not helping myself out 😔 I feel so sad, and also that “I don’t know how I’m feeling” feeling 😩 I thought I was getting better!
So it. Sunday at 1 am and I haven’t had time to write about Friday night, well it was very eventful. I went out with Darcy and I though that everyone hated us so we chilled around Abercarn untill about 11 pm, I left her by the bus stop to go home, on they way home I seen a wobbly drunken figure coming towards me, it was Sam, I explained to him why I thought everyone hated me and he then asked where everyone was and I said that they where all up the Belltower, because he was drunk I walked him up and half way up there we notice they where outside the gate and u said I was going home so he shouted up asking them all if they were okay with me and they said yes so I went up and say with them and they where all nice to me, well after half hour we left to go over the park witch me was messing around and “he” got hit in the balls but a horse it was so funny and then we decided to have a fire so me Chloe and Kurt went to get a bin to light on fire so we took it back to the park and lit it and then me Kurt and Chloe went on an “adventure” and we brought a door back to burn ahah, then Everyone else went on an adventure and brought two bins back and burnt them and then a wooden pallet an after 3 minutes the whole park was on fire an it was uncontrollable and we ran as fast as we could over to Barrets bridge where we stayed for a while, Connor was so tired he came and cwtched up to me aha, after a wile we walked back over to the scene of the crime(the park) and it was all back, we must have cause a few hundred pounds worth of damage, it felt strangely exciting and guilty at the same time, then everyone left an went in except me, Tiegan, Paige and Chloe so we went up Barrets path and found a tin of cherry dry hair shampoo and we all spayed it in our hair and used it to write our names on the bridge and then we went to Mc Donald’s at 7am and we all looked dead and we stayed in there untill 9am then left and walked home and then Paige robbed some old mans t shirt off his washing line and we got chased arose the Brickedy and me and Chloe ran up the banking and we seen a police car go past so we hid for a while then ran down mine and went to sleep ahah, well that was my weekend!
its 11:30pm, i haven’t even seen him today, to be honest i still love him with all my heart but fuck him, he is such a slag and i haven’t got time for him, but he’s so nice… his personality and looks! i miss him, i really do, he like them skinny pretty bitches, I’m never gonna look like Shauna. Ive been crying tonight, I’m just really depressed and lonely, i think I’m gonna have a drinking session this weekend as I’m really sad. I’m listening to Tove Lo Paradise, what a deep song, its amazing and i can relate to it so much right now “I want you for a million days”
its 12:06am, I’ve been in cardiff yesterday/a couple of hours ago with Paige and we had a laugh but wince we got home we found out that “he” got taken to the police after being thrown out of Cardiff Stadium, and today is his birthday nawr, no one knew where he was until now. i was so worried! Ive messaged him on Facebook so he should be home soon, Ieuan has his phone tho, i hate Ieuan -_- he’s a dick. But today/yesterday has been really eventful aha.
Well its 2:31am, i had an amazing night OUT with everyone and i met some new girls from Hengoed, including Shauna.. she’s actually really nice and VERY pretty. His birthday is tomorrow. He kinda made it clear that we are only friends but I’m not sure if that just what he wants me to think, Paige was messing around and said “why don’t you two just get on each other aha” and replied with “nahh we can’t do that, she’s like my best friend” so it makes me feel a little bit better to think that he does actually appreciate our friendship, but on the other side we are kinda in the “Friend zone” i guess.
I’m listening to Bittersweet Tragedy by Melanie Martinez, i love her, she has that sweet but “i don’t care what people think or say about me” vibe, which i adore, she has this precious little gap between her teeth, its a little bigger than mine so it kinda makes me feel better about mine, she’s just amazing and her song Carousel has inspired me to actually get a carousel tattoo, it has a meaning, life keeps going around and around.
It’s 6:40am and I’ve been listening to Melanie Martinez for about 6 hours, I literally love her.